Sports Offseason

For any avid sport’s fan, the worst time of the year has nothing to do with weather, holidays, people, or taxes. It’s the offseason. Our entire year is planned around different sport’s seasons and when the season of our preferred sport is over then we have nothing left to look forward to for the rest of the year. It is quite depressing and we’re left with highlights and memories of a season that has ended much too soon. What do we do in our spare time? That’s the question I attempt to answer here. Gentlemen, help has arrived.

Put away the tapes.

The first thing you need to do to get over with your recent loss is to put away all recordings of games and delete programs from your TiVo recorder. Watching them over and over is only going to prolong your depression and make you despise the calendar for even existing. This is your chance to start your life over and forget about all of the misery the team caused you this year with losses and failing to win the big championship.

Burn something big.

That’s right, I said it. Men have anger bottled up inside of them and the energy needs to be released in a manner that is not dangerous to him or anybody else. You can punch holes in the wall all you want, but that’s only going to take hours of patchwork and spackling. Find an old sofa, television, or something else that doesn’t get used often and light a fire to it. The flames will definitely make you feel better. This will serve as your goodbye ceremony. You can invite fellow fans over and you can take turns sharing stories of the past season with one another. Also, do not forget to bring hot dogs and marshmallows.

Take a vacation.

Now that you’ve gotten it out of your system, it’s time to fill your time. At the beginning of every year you should have studied the calendar like a forensic scientist. Never, and I mean never, schedule your vacation time during the sports season. Th!qis is a waste of a good trip. When the season ends, wait a couple of weeks and then schedule your vacation. This will allow you to get out and experience the life you missed for several months when you were tangled up with your team and the recliner. I recommend wearing sunglasses for the first days of your trip, because your eyes must adjust to the sunlight since you’ve been indoors for the better part of the year.

Find a message board.

After a few months you’ll be eager to get your competitive spirit going again. I highly recommend joining a message board that is devoted to a particular sport’s team. Here, you’ll be able to meet other fans that are experiencing the same thoughts and feelings you are. Also, you’ll keep afloat on the newest recruiting and trading news to come through the program. I’ve found that the offseason breaking news can be rather fun as you anticipate what your team will be like in the season to come. For instance, I’m a big UNC Tar Heels fan. I joined about two years ago and it’s been a great support group for me and I’m fairly knowledgeable on which high school athletes the program is trying to recruit.


Most men don’t enjoy reading. However, go to the local Barnes and Noble section and browse the sports aisles. If there’s a sports topic that you’re not familiar with and you’re looking to learn more about it then take the time to study up. Remember, class is never out for the pro. Buy a few books that document the history of your favorite sport’s team. It’s important not only to be informed on the present team, but an understanding of where it came from is, in my opinion, even more important.

Working Out.

Sport’s season can take its toll on your body. For months you stay indoors, eating unhealthy food and drinking unhealthy quantities of alcohol. Your eyes stay glued to the television screen and you refuse to do anything the slightest bit productive. Take this opportunity to shed a few of those pounds and get back into shape so that when the season rolls back around you’ll have a little room to pack a few back on. It’s a vicious circle, but you’ve got to keep up or the food and beer will swallow you whole.

Live your life.

Get your social life back. Chances are, you ditched the majority of your friends so that you could make plenty of time for the games. This is your chance to get them back before you ditch them all over again for your other friend, the sports program. Take them out for beers. Take your wife or girlfriend out for dinner and a movie. This is the perfect time to mend those relationships before you have to sever them back off for several months. Play the game and play it right. You’ll always come out on top.


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